People are experiencing you
When I was younger, I was an unreasonably jealous and angry person. It was beyond anyone’s comprehension, even my own, that I could only — hopelessly — justify it by telling people I was born in the year of the earth dragon.
Some people talk with honor about their fires. I could never speak the same way about mine. I was better at spewing it. I remember close friends and family were always ready to intervene the feuds I would have with my past partners because they understood quite well the hell I was capable of raising at the slightest trigger.
I don’t recall exactly how I changed from that to the empath and compassionate person I now claim myself to be, but I would always look back to that one time my sister overheard me lashing out on my ex-boyfriend over the phone. She told me something I will never forget:
“People come and go. Leave them something good to remember.”
When you are an angry and jealous person, you generally feel weak and lonely. This emptiness prods you to prey on others to fill your void. My sister’s words struck hard because I had completely forgotten I have that power — the power to leave the ones I love something good to remember. I had been exhausting my efforts and emotional energy in making sure the person I was in a relationship with would always choose and love me, when all I can really offer anyone is a safe space for them to enjoy what we have while we still have it.
See, I don’t think we have a good grip on the things we can actually control, create, and condition. It’s never the outcome, it’s the experience we are offering. It’s not our partners, it’s the kind of relationship we build with them. It’s not about making people agree with us when we feel we are the one right, it’s how we can bring ourselves to first hear them out...
At the end of the day, it’s how we are to others and what we leave them that decide how we will be valued.
Every person you encounter is experiencing you. Every stranger, lover, friend, customer. Just as home is sometimes a person, a person is sometimes a foreign place. You are sometimes a city someone had just visited for the first time. Now, imagine that someone was you. Would you have liked your vibe? Do you hold space for good thoughts and real connections to thrive? What do you give to those who walk on your streets? Who do they become after they leave?
As long as you can offer an experience, you can leave a good memory. Good memories bring hope. With hope, change is possible.
This is how you are so powerful.
Take it from this earth dragon.